Friday, 6 May 2011

The Vampire Diaries: The Sun Also Rises Review

'The Sun Also Rises'
Where the writer's rip out all of our hearts and squish them on the floor.

Previously on the Vampire Diaries: Doppelganger hijinks continues to throw everybody for a loop, Klaus is a terrifying half breed, that sacrifice we’ve spent all season stressing about? Yeah that happens tonight – thanks to Alaric’s trusty messenger service, and Elijah the font of all knowledge. Damon force fed Elena his blood, and the went on a suicide mission and got bit by a werewolf. Jenna is transitioning, and when we left Mystic Falls last week pretty much everyone we know and loved is IN VAST AMOUNTS OF DANGER.

Whoa! We’re like two seconds in and already Matt has SHOT WolfTyler?! How can this be? We can’t lose the sexy wolf boy!
And Caroline is just going to leave him to pant heavily on the floor? I think Matt just won this round of the Caroline Forbes love triangle contest.

Damon is being remarkably ok about this whole, been bitten, gonna die thing. I suppose at that stage there’s not much you can do other than say ‘gee shucks, let’s go save Elena so it’s all worth it!’
Although I’m surprised that in all her years of globe-trotting Katherine has never seen a werewolf bite.

“You don’t get a goodbye.” Wow, I am impressed both by Damon’s will power, and also how freaked Katherine seems that this is her final goodbye with Damon when she’s been so easy to toss him aside before in favour of Stefan.
Props to Damon for this whole scene – it really does show a bit how much he has grown and how far he’s come over the last two seasons.

Also impressive is Jenna’s handling capabilities. See? And these people kept her out the loop because they thought she wouldn’t cope! Panicked, but a hell of a lot more logical and rational than you would have thought.

How the hell is Greta proving more impressive in five minutes than Bonnie ever has in two seasons?
And she scares me.

Crap. So I guess that’s Jenna officially a Vampire then. Sad she’s no longer human, relieved she’s still walking and talking.

Although Jenna is making the scary vampire face even scarier – not sure how that’s possible, but that look through the flames is terrifying…

Hey look who it is! The oblivious duo hiding out in the haunted shack of make out sessions until all the bad stuff has gone away.

Tragic yet amusing if Jeremy goes home tonight an only child and a complete orphan…

Whoop for Elijah – he knows everything.

Damon sounds so feeble – I want to hug him. Also, Stefan may need a hug too momentarily.

Dumdum duhhh… So Alaric is gonna go all kick ass now? Yes? I want vengeful (only, you know, more so than for his wife) Ric.

Is this some sort of ring of trust/counselling exercise?! We figured she probably would feel the same, just a little more bloodthirsty. Which could be pretty awesome on Jenna. Please survive this – I am on Team Jenna Lives right now. Actually I have been for a while, it’s just she’s doing more to wave the team flag out now.

Seriously, Greta is winning the creepiest person on the show by a long shot. Step it up Klaus, your witch is outshining you.

Elena is actually going to try the peaceful hippy duty approach? This girl is wearing biker boots and has the creepiest smile I’ve seen, does this really look like it’ll work?

Ok I take it back, Greta and Klaus are kind of on an even pegging at the moment. Creep fest.

Caroline ran to the werewolf’s house?... Where does this sound like a good plan? Also, is she just planning on ignoring the rest of the sacrifice and all of her friends dying?

Matt with the gun, scarier by the minute. Does or not realize or just not care at this stage that that ‘Thing’ is Tyler?
Also, scary tough Matt is not handling telling Caroline all that well. She needs a hug.

I think Damon lost a couple of filter system’s in his brain when he got bitten. Either that or he just doesn’t give a crap anymore now he knows he won’t have to do any apologies later. Although why did they not tell John ANYTHING? That seems a little silly when it gives them another person on the failed ‘keep Elena safe’ bandwagon.

“How could it possibly get any worse?” Oh just you wait John, I don’t know where you’ve been, but it has got to have been better than the mess that’s been going down here…

Is the fire necessary for all the cursing? Or does this chick just have a really big thing for it?

So is the pulling out of hearts thing some sort of family tradition?
On a side note, that’s the werewolf down. I repeat, we have a not particularly likeable werewolf down. Yay!
What’s he going to do now? Eat it?

Bonnie the ever perceptive witch… Flash light plus thumping – “someone’s here.”

I feel sorry for Ric at this point – he doesn’t even have kids and he’s going to have to do the ‘your Aunt’s a vamp and your sister is about to be too’ speech.
Woah – slow down there a minute mister… Stefan’s gonna offer up himself instead? Oh this just gets more and more messed up by the minute…

Oooo feeling kinda queasy here… Was not expecting a heart squishing session. Well I was, but more the metaphorical kind.

Ah and now we have the ‘who has failed who the most’ competition. I’m gonna have to side with Elena on this one, she’s failed Jenna a hell of a lot more.

Oh my god. I may cry. Caroline you sneak – I never thought it would be you who’d make me want to cry first. “Do you think my Mum wants to kill me?”
Tyler! Surprised the wolfpage didn’t last all that long, but glad he’s in one piece/naked.

“Over the centuries Klaus hunted them down one by one and he took them from me.” Nooooo! I was so looking forward to meeting the mighty original clan. I am going to sulk if there are none but these two left. I want a girl original! Would she be normal? Or like Dru from Buffy?.... Cos that could be fuuuun. Or you know, we could have an epic quest to find the body parts!

Also, can I just take this moment to point out a rather almighty flaw in the witches plan of giving the original’s a weakness… They only made one dagger? Surely that’s just a recipe for trouble. Hey, we killed an original! *six angry siblings come after the hapless idiot that put the dagger in*

Yeah Damon was never going to be happy about Stefan’s new decision to go off and be sacrificed. Although aside from the wall punching, he seems to be taking it well. (it’s a week for bad boys punching walls isn’t it…) Normally he would have run off to tackle Stefan into the nearest tree by now.

Ha! I was wondering if Klaus had chosen three women deliberately, I like his style…

Moral dilemma for the win! Does Elena sacrifice her aunt or her soul mate?... Oooo decisions decisions. Although it’s not really up to her, since she’s being particularly useless telling Jenna to calm down and ‘relax’ yeah sure, that’s possible right now…

I love Matt to pieces, and his life really does suck, but it does get a bit wearing that he drags out the ‘poor me’ speech everytime he says he can’t cope. Has he stopped to think about poor Caroline? She was in an accident, had major surgery, was then killed and came back as this creature that couldn’t bear sunlight and had to drink blood. She’s been tortured, hunted, betrayed, shot, had her mother and her friend turn their backs on her, and what’s she done? She’s grown, she’s become a better person, a more rounded person, and she’s done it pretty much alone.

Although I do totally get where Matt is coming from, and respect him for that mini speech.

I think Damon lost what remaining patience he had – can he not see she’s doing complex things without the aid of candles or leaves?

Of all the things Bonnie has done throughout two seasons, am strangely most impressed by the kiss of falling over.

Ha! She turned bad ass in her keeping people safe rampage.

Yay! Klaus gets points for making Elena choose who to kill – I was hoping he’d do that.

Jeez, Klaus just got scarier…

Also, what the what?! Jenna! Why not just run completely?!?!?! Although she gets major plus points for trying to kill the witch…

I will admit, I am crying a bit. I loved Jenna, I wanted to see her as Vampy Jenna for longer. Excuse me, I need to go find some more tissues.

Elena gets a few points for the brush past – Klaus is getting altogether too cocky with all this wanton killing and heart ripping.

I can’t decide if Klaus looks confused, or slightly worried about Elena’s silent treatment – I think he was hoping for screams. I personally hope she kicks him in his privates.

It’s a beautiful and horrifying moment with Klaus drinking her blood, but I’m finding it hard to be truly worried about Elena – there seem to be too many things in place to make sure she comes back in some form for there to be any real danger of her full death.

Whilst Tyler’s transformation was heart breaking, Klaus’s is just omg, because it’s so grotesque all the breaking and reforming – particularly because you know just how much he’s enjoying it…

Bonnie gets some cool points for the awesome entrance.

Whoop, and the scary witch is gone! Go Damon! Not that I’m condoning neck snapping or anything, but she had it coming…

Am I the only one that swooned a little as Damon scooped up Elena with all that lightening going on in the background. Chills – just a little.

Bonnie seems to be doing a lot better job of causing him pain this time. Either she’s been practising or she’s just less worried now she’s not hurting Ric at all.

I love the Salvatores brothers. I love their relationship. I want more! Don’t Die Damon!

Eeeee! Elijah! Oh my gosh this is so cooool!

Moral dilemma! Oh please keep ripping that heart out! I mean Klaus is an awesomely cool character, but he scares the pants off me, and you know that if he doesn’t die now, Elena is gonna go on a spree that Jenna died for nothing.

PANTS. Urgh Elijah, I am so peeved with you right now it’s unreal.
Also, is it just me or does Klaus look like Gollum when he's trying to persuade Elijah to not squish his heart?

John just got major plus points for trying to save Elena with that cost to himself. I’m almost sad about his character now.

“If you come back as a vampire I’ll stake you myself.” Ah Damon, you sure know how to woo a girl.

Ironically of all these deaths, John’s is the one that’s made me cry like a small child.

“You’re kidding right? This is the second time I’ve tried to kill you.”
“Well, no friendship is perfect.” I love Caroline and Tyler, and I want him to stick around! We need more of them! Even if they are just friends… Who see each other naked once a month…Well, Tyler at least…

“You could just say ‘thank you Caroline for taking care of me, and I’m sorry I tried to chow down on you again…’”

Isn’t he naked underneath that blanket… Otherwise OMG THEY ARE SO CUTE. I loves him.

And I’m crying again. Elena and Jeremy are so heart breaking together right now.

“It's no easy task being an ordinary parent to an extraordinary child. I failed in that task. And because of my prejudices, I failed you. I'm haunted by how things might have played out differently if I'd been more willing to hear your side of things. For me, it's the end. For you, the chance to grow old, and someday do better with your own child than I did with mine. It's for that child that I give you my ring. I don't ask for your forgiveness, or for you to forget. I ask only that you believe this. Whether you are now reading this as a human or as a vampire, I love you all the same, as I've always loved you and always will.”

I’m not going to say anything much about John’s letter and the scene in the graveyard, partly because I’m crying so much, and partly because it’s perfect. It’s beautiful and it’s just right, and it’s making me cry insane amounts – particularly for a character I used to hate.

Also, that ending? 
“Keep this from Elena, that last thing she needs is another grave to mourn.” Followed by him walking through the gravestones? I don’t quite know how I’m going to survive next week.

So your thoughts? How many tissues did you get through? Is there anyone you didn’t want to die that did, and anyone that didn’t that you thought would? Who’s death got to you the most? And how on earth are we going to make it through Damon’s final hour?...

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