Taking Stock

The last year (and a bit) has been a rollercoaster, and a lot of it the not fun kind.
Towards the end of 2017 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and left my place of work due to my manager's response to that fact - both within a few short weeks. It was a truly awful time, added to by starting antidepressants, which whilst ultimately a saving grace, provided an additional challenge during the first few weeks as I tried to find some sort of equilibrium.

Part of my depression manifested in not being able to read. I couldn't settle to anything for more than a page or two at a time, and having that support system of books taken away at a time when I needed it most was really difficult.

However, at the start of this year, as I took some much needed time out to try and piece myself back together again, and the tablets started to do what they were meant to, I found a little corner of myself I recognised - the one that wanted to read again.

Whilst I've not read with the usual speed and intensity as I used to, having that piece of myself back has been a huge relief. Something that I now take less for granted. One that I've then been able to branch out into actually reviewing books again - this site had gone unused for far too long.

So whilst this time last year I was an absolute mess, over the last twelve months the good has outweighed the bad, and the to read pile has slowly been tackled.

I want to thank you, dear reader, for sticking through the quiet patches where this space wasn't used, and for coming back to hear my thoughts on books and TV and films in the last few months. It means a lot to me.

I also want to open up a line of communication for anyone who is struggling with mental health. I'm trying to talk more about mine, to try and remove some of the taboo around it, and part of what really helped me was having people around me who had been through similar things and could offer me understanding and support. So if you need someone to talk to, use any of the listed ways to contact me - I will always be here.

Happy new year everyone, I hope the next 12 months bring you wonderful books to read and happiness, even when it may not feel like that is possible.

Review: Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson

Publication Date: September 24^th 2015
Publisher: Pan Macmimllan
Length: 277 pages

Huge thanks to Netgalley and Pan Macmillan for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review

In “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, Jenny Lawson baffled readers with stories about growing up the daughter of a taxidermist. In her new book “Furiously Happy”, Jenny explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. And terrible ideas are what Jenny does best.
According to Jenny: "Some people might think that being 'furiously happy' is just an excuse to be stupid and irresponsible and invite a herd of kangaroos over to your house without telling your husband first because you suspect he would say no since he's never particularly liked kangaroos. And that would be ridiculous because no one would invite a herd of kangaroos into their house. Two is the limit. I speak from personal experience. My husband says that none is the new limit. I say he should have been clearer about that before I rented all those kangaroos."
"Most of my favorite people are dangerously fucked-up but you'd never guess because we've learned to bare it so honestly that it becomes the new normal. Like John Hughes wrote in The Breakfast Club, 'We're all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it.' Except go back and cross out the word 'hiding.'" 
Jenny's first book “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”, was ostensibly about family, but deep down it was about celebrating your own weirdness. “Furiously Happy” is a book about mental illness, but under the surface it's about embracing joy in fantastic and outrageous ways-and who doesn't need a bit more of that?

I adored Jenny’s first book. I frequently had to go out to my car to read it on my lunch break because I was laughing so hard I was ‘disturbing my co-workers’. I have never laughed so hard whilst reading before, and it was truly a glorious experience and an amazing read. So it was a no brainer that I would, of course, be picking up any further books Jenny wrote, and as soon as I saw the cover and title I knew I would be in for a treat.

Note to self: Don’t read this whilst in public. I got odd looks from laughing so hard and then nearly crying on the metro, in an airport (whilst reading the section about flying and airports, it was fortuitous timing and made everything ten times funnier) on the plane and then on a train. Several trains in fact. I had odd looks from strangers and my husband, who got increasingly irate everytime I tried to share another funny bit, because, let’s face it, that was most of the book, and ended up yelling that NO MORE, HE WANTED TO READ THE BOOK FOR HIMSELF. (Spoilsport)

Don’t be fooled though, because yes, there is plenty of laughter and merriment and general insanity (raccoon rodeo anyone?) but there are also much more serious sections which in turns punched me straight in the feels, made me nod along and go YES, SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS and sob, and also pass the book over to Husband with the instructions to read this because Jenny explains it so much better than I ever could.

It is outrageous and funny and heartfelt and full of poignant moments and good advice. In short, Jenny has done the impossible and created a truly brilliant blend of humour and seriousness tackling life with mental illness. It’s still so much of a taboo to discuss mental illness and Jenny throws all of that out the window and does a truly spectacular job of talking about it in ways that will both appeal to sufferers and those hoping to understand more. I’m bulk ordering many copies of this book to go to various people for Christmas because it is brilliant.

If you want an amazingly wacky and hilarious book – read this. If you want a book that talks honestly and openly about mental illness – read this. If you fancy some non-fiction – read this. If you’re not sure you like non-fiction books – read this. It is for everyone (apart from minors, because some of the language used isn’t appropriate but is utterly brilliant. Save a copy for them for when they’re older.) and everyone should be reading it.

Plus look at that cover. That cover alone should be giving you a good idea of what’s waiting for you inside – insanity and hilarity written by a truly incredible writer.

Review: Mosquitoland by David Arnold

Publication Date: September 10^th 2015
Publisher: Headline
Length: 336 pages

Thanks to Netgalley and Headline for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review

"I am a collection of oddities, a circus of neurons and electrons: my heart is the ringmaster, my soul is the trapeze artist, and the world is my audience. It sounds strange because it is, and it is, because I am strange."
After the sudden collapse of her family, Mim Malone is dragged from her home in northern Ohio to the "wastelands" of Mississippi, where she lives in a medicated milieu with her dad and new stepmom. Before the dust has a chance to settle, she learns her mother is sick back in Cleveland.
So she ditches her new life and hops aboard a northbound Greyhound bus to her real home and her real mother, meeting a quirky cast of fellow travelers along the way. But when her thousand-mile journey takes a few turns she could never see coming, Mim must confront her own demons, redefining her notions of love, loyalty, and what it means to be sane.
Told in an unforgettable, kaleidoscopic voice, "Mosquitoland" is a modern American odyssey, as hilarious as it is heartbreaking.

This was an oddball of a book for me, that ultimately wasn’t quite my cup of tea, but I think will appeal to a lot of other people.

The biggest problem for me was the lack of connection with any of the characters. By the end I had begun to care about Mim, but it was too little too late by that point. She is a very abrasive character, and sometimes that works for me and sometimes it doesn’t. In this case, I didn’t really care for her as I had with some other more caustic heroines, and her voice and personality will definitely divide readers.However she really leaps off the page, full of life and opinions and flaws, and that is a wonderful thing to read.

Mim is most definitely an unreliable narrator. She leaves things out until the end, quite pertinent information so that you are forced to comply with her world view until the truth comes tumbling out and both she and the reader realise that not everything is as it seems.

I did enjoy watching all the pieces start to click into place towards the end of the book, but like with caring about Mim herself, it kinda felt like too little too late. On the whole the rest of the plot fell into place in a rather predictable fashion with some insta love for added fun and a fair few moments where I gave the book the side eye due to Mim’s actions and thoughts. Her ‘war paint’ was problematic, but at least she recognised that it was, but her and Beck talking about Walt (their Down Syndrome friend) being their pet dog, was a little much.
It also felt a little bit too episodic with the detours. Sure we get some interesting characters making appearances, but the arcs felt a little bit too much like they were only in the book to show Mim's growth. Zany and exciting new people who pop up, make a brief impression and then leave. Something about the construction of the detours just didn't quite work for me - add it to the list of many things that sadly didn't.

It was a book that felt as though it were trying too hard to be another ‘HEY LOOK MENTAL ILLNESS’ book, and it didn’t feel like it tackled it particularly well. Certain elements were done well, but there were quite a few that either didn’t work or made me look squinty eyed at the book to make sure I was reading it right. However it does tackle a lot of pertinent issues - the disillusion of her parent's relationship, the grey areas of discovering that your parents are people in their own right who makes mistakes and have problems of their own and a lot of that was really interesting to read. It's just a shame that it was buried in amongst so much else that didn't work for me.

I just felt kinda apathetic about the book by the time I finished. That’s most likely all on me, I wasn’t in the mood for a contemporary, or maybe I was too tired and should have gone to bed already. But for me personally, this book just wasn’t really my thing.