Friday, 30 September 2011

The Vampire Diaries Review: The End of The Affair

Previously on The Vampire Diaries: Stefan continued to be an idiot, Klaus was thwarted at every turn, Ric manned up, Damon and Elena acted like children, and Caroline and Daddy were reunited…

Oh dear, is Damon picking up the drinking where Ric has left off?
Ooooo baby! Katherine! “Lurking outside your window, pining away.”
“I’m homesick, what have I missed?”
“Well, Stefan’s still Klaus’ little prisoner, and Elena still thinks she can save him and no-one’s thought about you at all.” Damon, you’re so good at summing up. We should have you write the re-caps.

“Lot of blood, lot of partying, details are a blur.”
“Well that’s a crying shame – the details what makes it legend.”
Oh dear god I just got goosebumps with that line and white out. I love it. I love flashbacks, and I have a feeling I’m going to love the ripper days…
Klaus is telling the story? This just got a little weird.

Really? Eat her and then steal the flower from her hair as a button hole? Stefan you cad!
Oh god I love Stefan being suave and cool. LOVE IT. And the twenties are just so PERFECT for this.

“Careful Mr Salvatore – you’re still wearing your date, she’s lovely.”
I think I just blacked out from the sheer awesomeness of this girl, her attitude, and the steaminess between her and Stefan. I didn’t think I’d ever like Stefan with another girl (apart from maybe Caroline, but then again Caroline has chemistry with everyone) but I’m liking this one.

“You had your fun, your hybrids failed.” Uh, has Stefan not realized yet that it’s going to take more than one failure to make Klaus give up?

Does Elena just sleep all the time she’s not having bad plans and forcing everyone to go along with them?
HA. Actually just laughed out loud at Damon’s fabulous winning ways. You got to give him points for persistence.
“You know you were dreaming about me, explains the drool.”
“6am? Do you really have nothing better to do at 6am?” You even need to ask that question? If he can irritate you and snuggle all at the same time, you can bet Damon will be there.

“He’s in Chicago? How do you know?”
“It came to me in a dream. I was naked – you would have loved it.”
Is he just going to be full of it all episode? Because I love it. And you know, naturally he now starts helping her pack by going through her UNDERWEAR DRAWER. “Oh, put these in the yes pile!”

HE’S GASSING HIS DAUGHTER? I no longer even remotely like him. Not even a little bit.
Oh dear god, you have got to be kidding me. He is AWFUL. Why is he doing this to Caroline, she’s so lovely! “Blood controls you sweetheart – this is how I’m going to fix you.”

Elena’s started on the age jokes? Mature… And she’s seen Stefan at his darkest periods? I don’t even remotely believe her.

I love the flashbacks, they’re so smooth.
“So, a hybrid walks into a bar and says – ”
“Stop. Just because you’re invincible doesn’t make you funny.”

“Should you be – ”
“Old and dead? Now if I died, who’s gonna run this place?”
I like Chicago, everyone has sass!

“Well that would be the original witch – she’s very dead.” Well that’s not fair, everyone else who was an original appears to still be very much alive.

I LOVE IT. Let’s go over the points I love. Firstly, this whole 1920’s flash back thing. I loved the 1864 ones, but it’s nice to have something fresh, and this is brilliantly done.
Secondly, Gloria, who is full of sass and awesome. In fact most of the witches we’ve met have been full of sass, it’s just a shame they also seem to bow down before vampires. I want this explained at some point writer’s!
Thirdly, the fact that Stefan and Klaus have already met?!

Mommy Forbes!I has missed you so.
Daddy Forbes, really not so much. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with him.
“I’m conditioning you to associate your vampire urges with pain.” This guy is seriously sick.
“Daddy you can’t change who I am.”
“Yes I can.”

“Stefan’s second personality home.” He should have that engraved in a plaque over the door.
Stefan kept a list of names of all of his victims? Everyone is getting really twisted this episode.

Threesome much?!
OMG. She has Elena’s pendant? What the hell…
“So this is the famous Stefan Salvatore I’ve been hearing so much about. You’re right he does have funny hair.”

“Then go, you can leave without me, I’m not your girlfriend.”
“No, you’re my sister.”
I’ve been hoping for more originals like crazy, and more than that, hoping for a sister, because they are always going to be awesome. I mean look at Klaus and Elijah – anyone growing up with those two has to be awesome.
“Your sister? So I knew another original vampire?” I love the smirk on Klaus’s face after that. Yeah that’s right, we’ve been playing you for about 90 years…
The coffin tomb of awesome! OPEN ALL OF THEM I WANT ELIJAH BACK. And you know, all the others… I’m not known for my patience, gimme originals!

“I don’t recognise her.”
“Don’t tell her that, Rebecca’s temper is worse than mine.”
My love for this family of screw ups knows no bounds.

Klaus learnt things off Stefan?..
“And where’s the rest of your family?”
“Well let’s see – I killed most of them…”
Hold on, so Klaus gave his family a choice over whose side they wanted to be on? Klaus’s or?... And who else may have chosen Klaus’s side as well as Rebecca and Elijah? (BTW who the way picked these names? They don’t exactly have much old world charm…)

Oh my word, that whole scene is brilliance. Twisted – actually most of this episode seems twisted. But brilliant. This is the Ripper I wanted, the one who enjoys the torment and the blood and the mere mortals that are his toys. And I love Klaus’s fascination and love of what Stefan’s doing. It’s just so twistedly perfect, and everything I wanted from my ripper.

So Damon and Gloria go way back too? And she prefers Damon to Stefan on the basis that Stefan is on the wrong side of the tracks. Oh Damon baby I want more.

Lexi has a lot to answer for. I want to reach the point where we know and understand the dynamic between Stefan and Damon at the start of series one and what events led up to that, cos you just know it’s going to be good.

So I guess the big doppelganger secret ain’t gonna stay that way for much longer…
Oh you just had to hide in the secret closet next to the list of murdered peoples names that they wanted to see…

Smooth, real smooth. And a nice touching reunion.
Oh dear god my heart just stopped for a moment when I thought he was going to turf her over to Klaus.


“I had an hour to realize what a bad idea it was to leave you here alone, process it and move on.” How many people/walls/inanimate objects de we reckon he maimed during that hour?
However that moment where he asks if she’s ok and looks like he might hurt something or himself if she isn’t, is really cute.

So Stefan actually started Klaus on the way to being a monumental ass? I love the irony.

Oh god Caroline. I want to punch Daddy for being such an arse.
She looks so broken and it’s so not fair. I want Tyler to save her.
“Why are you trying to fix me?”
“So I don’t have to kill you.”
He’s so tender at the same time, it’s heart breaking and twisted and horrific and makes me want to cry like a small child.

AND TYLER. I love this so much right now.How come Tyler can break those and she can’t? Is it just cos she’s weak?

He is so making up for the letting her stay in the cage moment. I love him so much.

“You shouldn’t have to cover your tracks, unless you’re running from someone.” Dum dum duhhhhhh.

“She isn’t going anywhere until she’s got you checked into vampire rehab and on the mend – trust me, I’ve tried.”

“I see they’ve opened the doors to the riff raff now.”
“Oh honey, I’ve been called worse.” I want to see the Damon and Klaus road trip too…
And now we’ve broken out the little cocktail umbrellas. I predict dancing on the tables and body glitter in about five more shots.

Just because that trick worked last time doesn’t mean it’ll work again…
Although Stefan is technically doing it to try and protect her, he is being a bit of a douche about it at the same time.

Wait… Klaus is going to stake Damon with a little cocktail umbrella? I LOVE THIS SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

“Forget Stefan, I’m so much more fun…”
I wasn’t sure whether I believed him or not, but I think Damon was actually willing to die for Elena to get Stefan back. That’s insane. He’s just so yummy.

“Not in my bar – you take it outside.” I love that immediate ‘hey it’s not cos it’s Damon, I just don’t want blood on the floor…’

“It’s done. That part of my life is done. I don’t want to see you, I don’t want to be with you. I just want you to go.”
Wow. Never thought he’d actually just crush her like that. Everyone’s being mean today!

I was peeved with Mommy Forbes last season, but this is amazing. Her sitting with her daughter nursing her with bags of blood is just such an incredible transition, and so sweet to watch. It’s jus such a nice contrast after the crap her dad has put her through.

And I love that Tyler is still there.
“Would now be a bad time to give you crap about sneaking out on me?” They are so cute it’s unreal.

I’m actually crying. This storyline is so good.

Wow, she actually loves Stefan, like enough to die.
Oh pants, so dagger doesn’t work on Klaus…
This is kind of creepy and cute all at the same time this remembering… Although this worries me – if Stefan really truly loved Rebecca all along… Then Elena?...

YES. I love that the necklace is needed! THIS IS AWESOME.
And the fact that Katherine found the necklace…

So all in all a pretty awesome episode. It had plenty of Ripper, plenty of road trip, a lot of heart break and a lot of people being incredibly twisted and evil. And I freaking loved it. I can’t wait to see what happens with Rebecca, who I was all set to hate and now adore. Can she win Stefan for real?...

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