Friday, 15 April 2011

The Vampire Diaries: The Last Dance Review

Be warned - spoilers galore below.

'The Last Dance'
Deadly dances, kick ass outfits, and some very cute moments.

Tonight looks set to be a big one… I’ve been virtuous and stayed off Twitter until I could watch, and I’ll recap as I watch to give you the full OMG action packed experience. In the words of Elijah – buckle up.

Previously on the Vampire Diaries: Doppelganger hijinks, witchy locked and loaded, parents were morons, originals are bad, and Ric is possessed – more typical days in Mystic Falls.

I wonder whether Ric has any idea what’s happened to him, and whether he’s conscious of what he’s saying and doing. If he is, I bet he is irate at the comments on his wardrobe. Poor guy just can’t catch a break.

Just gonna throw this out there now, but take it as an ongoing thing throughout the episode (although I may be forced to repeat it if he does something spectacular) Alaric as Klaus is FREAKING AWESOME. It’s a genius move on the part of the writers, and I love that we get to see Matt’s acting abilities stretched a little further than his usual glowering jealous tortured looks. He’s terrifying and brilliant and I LOVE IT.

I’m hoping Katherine has been compelled, although may be not. She seems awfully chatty or maybe it’s just because the lines have changed again and she’s firmly on team person who has her tied up at the moment.

“That guy is a buzzkill.” Ahhu… You know Klaus is sounding less and less like the recluse Elijah had made him out as. On the other hand, whilst you may be awesome KlausRic – don’t insult Elijah, he’s awesome! Even if he is currently a little dead. He’ll get over it.

Katherine begging to die?... What has Klaus done to her during the night?...
“I searched for you for five hundred years. Your death is going to last at least half that long.” I guess that could rule Katherine out of the people who might die by the end of the series – she has a world of pain ahead of her…

I get this horrible sensation that all the bad horrible things that have happened over the last two seasons of this show are going to be nothing in comparison to what Klaus is about to unleash. Whilst it keeps Katherine occupied, that is not a fun way to spend an afternoon. At least we know compulsion still works even when the original in question is in another body.

“The fun is just beginning.” Yeah I’m going to go find a cushion to hide behind before the fun has a chance to get going.

“Your own personal safe house.”
“That’s the idea.”
“I wouldn’t want to clean it.” Ah Bonnie, ever practical. Also, not thinking clearly. Elena can so use Damon to do the chores with the threat of locking him out of the house if he doesn’t.

Ah Salvatore boys, thank you for reminding us just how good you look in leather.
Also loving the long slow wait as Elena signs the papers inside. You just know at the back of their minds is the fear that she’s not going to let them back in again ever.

Wow, that was a strangely unexpected moment. Despite all their hatred of Katherine and the bravado and snark, Damon does still care for her. She was, presumably, his first love. And even though he’s not motivated to do stupid things anymore, I think that sort of thing stays with you in some form. And it’s weird to see them acknowledge that their maker is probably dead by now.

YES. Love them both walking into the invisible wall – made me chuckle.
Yeah yeah, you so did not forget Miss Gilbert, you’re just looking forward to playing this as much as you can. And also making Damon stress he’s sleeping on the porch tonight.

“What are we, twelve?”
“One of us is.”
“If I let you in, do you promise to obey the owner of this house?”
See your lips may be saying No Damon, but in your mind you have a picture of her spanking you and you are so saying yes.

Also loving the “shut up” to Stefan who is clearly loving this game as well. Although maybe not the spanking part.

“Where are you going?”
“HUH?” Yes Stefan, we are on team you. What is this school you speak of that you never ever go to except to make Stefan’s jaw hit the floor because he had actually forgotten of its existence?

“We didn’t create a safe house for you to leave it.” He has a point, you are being awfully cavalier about this school thing Elena – remember all the bad things that have happened there? School is clearly not a safe place to be. You might learn things. Like where the heart is so when you stake a vampire you don’t get them in the SOLAR PLEXUS. Jeez.

Stefan we saw that eyebrow raise. We know the kinky things you had planned.

“The way I see it, next to Bonnie is the safest place that I can be.” Aw, Stefan looks like a puppy that’s been kicked. It’s supposed to be next to him that you feel safest!

I’m just looking forward to her getting to school and discovering her history teacher/inappropriate father figure is secretly out to get her.
And now you’ve all abandoned Damon. Smart move. He can get out the booze and party with the sorority girls. I bet that isn’t covered in the rules.

“Tyler Lockwood is god knows what.”
“A werewolf.” Casual shrug. See Matt may be acting freaked, but he seems like he’s adjusting to this whole thing pretty quickly.
Also liking Mommy Forbes reaction this time. It’s less “I have no daughter” and more “she’s my baby.” Maybe something stuck from the last reveal?

Please let history be first class… Pleeeeeassseeeee.

Elena: *waves the decade dance poster at Stefan.*
Stefan: *head shake*
Elena: *pout* *turns to Bonnie, shakes again*
She learns quickly who is going to let her get her way in each situation…


I hope that Klaus doesn’t have anything good to say about the sixties, because he spent the entire time getting high. That is the only way he is allowed to be the oldest person around with no information.

Um, just a brief side note – who is funding this school? Because I want to redo high school here please. They get a 60’s dance and suddenly there are camper vans on the campus, specifically to be painted in 60’s style?... Camper vans just for a dance?...

DANA’s BACK. (Can I get a ‘not now Dana’ shout out please?)

Matt’s doing a pretty good job of acting normal… Those kisses seemed pretty real and not at all forced. I repeat, he is so way more ok than he’s giving himself credit for.

“What are you going to do?”
I’m going to pout at you. No boy can resist the pout. See my lower lip is trembling and everything. Look at the puppy dog eyes…

Oh good, I’m glad Elena is mentioning this at last. I had wondered if anyone had bothered to tell Jeremy that his sister was moving in with her toy boys. Has he been using the house to make out with Bonnie, or just hiding under a blanket waiting for someone to come home?...

Jenna’s staying on campus? I’m kind of bummed that we don’t get some extra angst what with KlausRic on the loose, but I guess we have more than enough to keep ourselves occupied with this week.

Totally awesome way to introduce Elena to the idea that Klaus is here… Just wish someone had the foresight to mention he looks a lot like Ric…

Stefan, the judgy look does not suit you.

NO NO NO NO. DO NOT LET HIM IN THE HOUSE. Actually, because he’s in a human body does that still work?
I guess not… Bummer.

NO YOU STUPID PEOPLE. Do not spill the plan of attack when the crazy KlausRic is listening to EVERYTHING. Urgh this genuinely makes me want to throw things at the screen because it’s so nail bitey.

Nice… I like the self bigging “It’s not going to be that easy. He is the biggest baddest vampire around.”

I like the display of hey look what I can do, but why Damon. He’s being nice. Look to the right, You’ve got Mr Judgey Face and the History teacher who has smiled more today than in the rest of the series. Klaus never really struck me as being a smiley person.

“Well I was impressed.” Ha.

“I can kill him Elena, I know I can.” KlausRic slowly backs away trying not to be noticed.

Ew, that leg is not a pretty sight.
“This witch is all juiced up and ready to kill.”
“That’s terrible.” She doesn’t care… You made her stab herself in the leg all day. You’re lucky she’s talking to you at all.
“Do you think this Alaric guy has anything vintage?” Lifts up false panel, not unless you count the vintage weapons he has stashed everywhere.
“Who is this guy again?”
“He’s the local vampire hunter.”
“Ah, well that explains the clothing.”

“I’m a haggard history teacher, she could easily hurt me. Well, this body, not Klaus me, but… Oh you know what I mean.”

Oh this is bad. So Bonnie is going to kill herself killing Ric, which will mean that Klaus is forced back into his actual body, and he’ll then come looking for Elena, but they won’t have the witchy weapon to defeat him anymore?... This is looking bad for our heroes.

I Love Caroline’s outfit, she suits that look.
Matt is so much better at pretending everything is normal. Mommy Forbes is failing miserably at this game.

Hm, now that was strange. He seemed fine earlier when it was just the two of them. What is it about Mommy Forbes that makes him suddenly freak about the whole thing? Something seems off about this.

I wonder whether the Salvatore’s have every decade of clothing hidden in that mansion? It wouldn’t surprise me. Although they seemed to really love the sixties clothes – how many boxes are there?

“And tonight, we will put an end to him.” Oh Stefan baby, no-one’s told you there’s still four more episodes of the season left have they? There’s no way you gonna get the big baddy tonight.

Oh Damon, where is your sexy piece on the side these days? Have you lost interest in her just because Elena is finally staying with you?

The sixties dance seems way more fun than the fifties.
Also, KlausRic is in the building… And he looks far too happy. Someone’s going to catch on soon.

Sorry my jaw just hit the floor – KlausRic busting some moves?... This guy makes Ric so much more fun and he seems completely wrong in comparison to what Elijah said about him.

How drunk is he? Or is he just high off the chase?

“If you’re asking me to go steady, I think that was the fifties.” Ah Jeremy, you’re only a decade out.

Bonnie clearly hasn’t thought through what her death would do to Jeremy, she was too busy being all I can save the world and it’s my choice to make. I’m glad he’s pointed out to her that his last two girlfriends have both died. I know other people have been saying it too, but I honestly don’t know what it would do to him to lose a third one. And I’m glad he’s made her think about that, if only for a moment before she goes back on the self-sacrificing rampage.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much. The constant mantra about her being able to do this just makes me more certain she won’t be able to.

Damon seems mildly impressed at Klaus’s technique. And when is someone going to notice KlausRic pulling weird faces? He’s either grinning like a loon or looking like he just broke a tooth.

“I’m not impressed.”
WHAT?! BUT I’M PULLING SOME OF MY BEST MOVES TO SCORE THIS DOPPELGANGER! Katherine promised if I caught her tonight we could have a threesome. It’s the only way to explain the creepy facial expressions.

KlausRic is back to glowering. I don’t think he likes being told his plans suck. He is obviously trying to beat Damon at who is the coolest. Damon is winning by a mile.

Damon swings in to start dancing with Elena. “How you doin’?” Millions of girls across the world collectively swoon.
“I’m freaking out a little bit – how are you?”
“I’m cool as a cucumber.” Damon, you are always that cool. Also, points for the smooth dancing skills.
He also gets points for his re-enactment of the last decade dance.
And yet more points for that awesomely cute Delena moment. Yet more swooning is occurring.

Hold on, if Stefan is dancing with Caroline, and Damon just cut in with Bonnie, who’s babysitting Elena? Wait, you mean they left her on her own???

“All that power, isn’t there some way to increase your odds?”
“Careful Damon, people might think you actually care.”
“We wouldn’t want that.”
Ok, two things, I am loving Damon’s care free let’s dance with everyone attitude (plus the moves that come with it.) And secondly, that was a really cute Bonnie and Damon moment.

Oh good, so now pretty much everyone important knows apart from Elena. This can never end well.

How does Damon do it? Every dance he has the moves and the girls, and I can’t help but laugh every time we get a shot of him.

Pants. Why would Stefan do that? It was so much more fun when Elena didn’t know. And know Elena and Bonnie are going to go and talk somewhere quiet, and we all know that somewhere quiet always turns out to be somewhere deadly…

When I was watching the promo for this week I couldn’t tell who was being beaten up. Urgh, why Jeremy, he’s being so good!
Salvatore brothers to the rescue!
Crossbows unite!
I love it! “Let me guess – Klaus says hi.”
They’ve caught on quick to the idea that when bad things happen it only means it’s to keep them there whilst something worse happens somewhere else. 

I love how peeved Damon looks every time he’s about to kill/maim someone and he gets stopped. One of these days he’s going to snap and go on a murderous rampage.

THE SMILE. Why is no one noticing the creepy smile?!
Finally they’re catching on – although probably not quick enough.
Loving KlausRic’s reminiscing about the olden days.
“I am not Alaric.”
*long pause* “Klaus.”
“Surprise!” I love this guy.

How much money are you willing to bed on Elena thinking this is another case of doppelganger hijinks? There are too many of them on this show already, I think two Ric’s would finish us.

Oh God – Ric’s chances of surviving this are falling. Fast.

I’m loving Team Damon and Bonnie tonight – they should fight crime dressed in sixties wear. I’d totally watch that show.
Seriously, Bonnie should wear boots and a dress like that all the time – it makes her a lot more kick ass.

Oh my god. Bonnie has levels of violence previously un-thought of. Is it wrong that I am loving every minute of this? And Elena is so going to hate on Damon for doing this.

Seriously this girl is bas ass.
And this episode is freaking awesome. Best. Fight. Ever.
And the most beautiful. And now I’m crying.

Also, props to Bonnie for that fall – genuinely looked like a rag doll. It’s sometimes the littlest things that impress me.

Oh my god this cannot be happening. Bonnie wasn’t always my favourite character, but this is genuinely heart breaking. Elena’s reaction and Damon’s casual use of phrases like ‘clean this up’ and ‘deal with the body’. Also, where has KlausRic gone? Please don’t let this all have been for nothing.

Whilst Damon gets minus points for putting her in the trunk of the car. He gets plus points for how tender he’s being with her.
Also for the fact that he doesn’t just tell Jeremy his gf’s dead and drive off. He’s growing as a person.

I’m just going to keep crying for a while.

Urgh. I agree with most of the times Elena slaps Damon (she seems to end up doing it a lot, and he never seems to mind too much.) But that one was unwarranted. I don’t think he deserved that, and I know Elena wants to lash out, but that seemed unfair.

YES. See Damon so did not deserve that slap. He was actually being pretty damn awesome instead of the uncaring bum Elena was presuming him to be.
“She cast a spell. Bonnie’s ok.” Ah but does this count as one of the three deaths or not? We’re stuck with the same problem as last week. Isobel we’re not sure if she’s major enough to count. And since Bonnie is back and it was just a spell, does that count or not? Although she was technically dead for a while… Oh my brain. I guess we won’t know until the finale, when potentially three characters we love could drop dead. That’s a chilling thought.

“I don’t mind being the bad guy,. I’ll make all the life and death decisions while you’re worrying about collateral damage. And I’ll even let her hit me for it. But at the end of the day, I’ll be the one to keep her alive.” Should we be taking this as an official gauntlet being thrown down?...

Jeremy – best boyfriend ever. And cutest. Totally on Tem Jeremy right now.

“Here’s to duplicity.” I take it back. I’m back on Team Damon. Face it, I’m never going to really leave Team Damon, because he is technically also TEAM AWESOME.

“I will always choose you.” SWOON. Also, she doesn’t run away, and she keeps looking at him funny. Do I sense a hint of progress on the Delena front?

ELIJAH. Finally someone removed that frickin dagger. He’s been out of the picture for far too long. I have to admit when Elena started roaming the halls looking shifty I was terrified it was actually Katherine and she’d just found out about Bonnie being alive or something and was reporting back. Then I remembered the house is now vamp proof. I can breathe again.

This episode just upped the game considerably. That was some high tension and stress going on. KlausRic gets some serious awesome mentions because he really stole the show tonight. He was epic. 
Also epic was the fight scene between him and Bonnie.

And next week? I sense a growing rift between the Salvatore’s, and you never know Elena might not be as firmly on Team Stefan as she keeps saying she is. Added to that we’re going to meet Klaus officially, get some flashbacks, and you know what I’m most excited about? Elijah’s back baby!

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