The Vampire Diaries: Crying Wolf Review

'Crying Wolf'
Tears, stabbings and tragic confessions. Get the tissues, it's going to be a long night...

So this week I wrote my review whilst I was watching the episode. I’d had a sort of pre-warning that it was going to be another biggy, so I figured real time thoughts might be more entertaining.
As ever, if you haven’t seen the episode, don’t read yet, because it’s filled with spoilers.

I changed my mind about the werewolves – I adore Stevie.  I want to take him home and hug him and feed him up cos he looks scrawny. Just thought you should know…

What did they drink last night??? Lesbian threesome (which you know is going to get kinky what with there being a vampire and a witch involved) followed by Elena’s inane crawling across the floor as though she’s afraid to stand up and be greeted by the hangover hammer.

Damon you cad. That was such a sweet moment with Andie, and then you go and ruin it by reminding us you are actually a douche and it’s probably just all mind control poop. Urgh. Stop simplifying feelings by making them magically appear and disappear. We were making progress! Although if it gets you into the bath more, I am totally on board.

However, if this ends up with you being an abusive bum towards Andie, similar to how you were with Caroline in Season 1, I don’t care how cute you look, I will officially switch teams. To who I have no idea yet, but the threat is there!

“It’s my new girlfriend. Andie Starr – Action news.”
“It’s not called action news.”
“I know, I just like saying it.”

Official YAY for team Bonnie and Caroline finally being back to proper friends. I’m welling up a little at their schemey grill times.

I’m torn by the whole Caroline and Matt thing. On one hand, I’m so glad Matt finally got a little of his spine back, but on the other, Caroline was all bleedy and tortured, so cut her some slack! Someone needs to lock them in a room and let them work it out. It’s too easy for Matt to just run away with the ketchup bottles at the moment.

Tyler you sneaky boy – when did you learn how to be sneaky? Cos it sure wasn’t with Uncle Mason and the moonstone, or trying to get chains out of the house. Seriously, i’m amazed you haven’t been caught yet, and you did a very stupid thing stealing a vampires phone. Caroline is not going to be happy when she finds out.

I love the Stelena moments we get here – seriously, that was some good worried face with the whole ‘I can’t invite you in’ thing. It was so good to see these two just messing around a bit. They don’t get nearly enough time to be a regular teenage couple.

Events last week have really matured Caroline. Situations where she normally would have been shrieking and over reacting, and talking to everyone about everything – now she just quirks and eyebrow and files it away for later use. I like it.

Luca baby, I missed you. But you’re still in my bad books. Work on it. However, witch roofies, that’s a new one. And more than a little alarming how gleeful Bonnie is about dishing them out.

Uncle John – I take back everything I said last week about you being nice. In the words of Alaric “You’re a dick.” You can’t just waltz in and boss Alaric around, he’s cool! He likes chunky monkeys! Right now I trust Elijah more than I trust UJ, and Elijah is busy stuffing pencils in Damon’s neck. I love the elegance of his movements though, the calm smile. It all adds to the creepiness.

That’s right Stefan, you destroy a wall in your girlfriends dead parents lake house. That’s not at all weird… Luckily it contains a super secret, (and probably very handy when the wolves show up later I’m guessing,) stash of weapons and explanatory back story.

I am loving the girl talk “we can’t afford to be picky.” So true Bonnie, any new blood that comes into Mystic Falls at the moment is Vamp blood, you have to get your perks when you can sweetie.

Alaric? You love Elijah’s hair? You’re hanging out with Damon at Chez Salvatore, drinking and talking? What is going on? I mean I like that you’re, you know, speaking this week, but this is a little weird. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS MALE BONDING???? The further into this scene we get, the weirder it becomes. I know the two of them have bonded and gotten drunk and tried to kill people together, but this is a little beyond. Damon’s eyes lighting up as he tells Alaric that Andie has spunk? I feel a little nauseous. Although maybe Damon’s just trying out this whole human thing.

Damon your poor neck, here, let me kiss it better.

Brady: You up for this?
Tyler: *looks about ready to throw up and like he’s been hyperventilating for the past hour.* Yes, just let me take the table with me. It is my friend.
Brady: *sighs* *insert pep talk here* Now, are you up for this?
Tyler: *NO* yes.
Brady: Good, cos otherwise I’m gonna kill you.
Tyler: *gulp*

I am glad that Jenna and Ric are getting more time and a bit more of a story. It was getting boring never seeing them, or only seeing them giggling and running around the house half naked. Yay Team chunky monkey! Although if UJ has anything more to do with it, they're going to end up stuffed. I know that Ric hates lying to Jenna, but he's still doing it. And it is involving the children under her care, so he's really in murky water where he should be a little more honest.

Firstly, the dog collar is not a good look for Damon. I am sure there are multiple puns in there, please go find them.

Secondly, I love the little sigh of relief when he realizes Ric still has his ring on. I know it’s probably mostly a sigh of relief that he’s not completely screwed, but I like to think there’s a tiny bit of humanity in there somewhere.

Thirdly, I take it back. None of the werewolves are cute. They should all be neutered and put down. 

FOURTHLY, EW! YOU GOT YOUR TORTURE DEVICE FROM PORN?? Stevie, what did they do to you, you seemed so innocent!

Fifthly, I am so glad Damon is celebrating the irony, cos I sure as hell was. Irony party!

Sixthly, yes Damon, pulling weird eyebrow faces is so going to stop the guy WITH THE TORTURE DEVICE. Sigh.

AHHA. Finally the reason for the influx of witches all supposedly working for Elijah, makes a lot more sense. I am liking this plot a little more, and pointing out, I called Elijah being trustworthy last week. I wins. However, Elena doesn’t look like she has a particularly great outlook right now, no matter how much Elijah keeps his word. I still don’t think she’ll die though. I’m sure some people will, just not Elena – not yet.

Unless of course Brady comes along with his toys. That could lower the chances of survival a bit…

“Are you growing the trees out there?” Oh Elena. Stop being so cute and innocent and grab a weapon. This is not going to end well. Hey what do you know, she listened. And she’s getting better at staking. Oh Elena, I’m so glad your spine is back for an extended stay this time.

Oh my god, brains AND a backbone? I am impressed Miss Gilbert, I like your style.

Oh Tyler you are so screwed up, and strangely that just makes me want to hug you more. Oh sort your head out sweetie. I get that you don’t want the pain every month, but a) trying being a girl (yes I went there :P) and b) man up, grow a pair, and realize that the new kids you’ve been hanging out with are a bunch of psychos. You are so much better off with the vamps. C) thank you for hugging him Elena, he needed it.

I LOVE YOU ELIJAH. Seriously on board with this guy right now. The nonchalance, ooo yeah. Also, love the little nod Damon gives him to congratulate him on his truly AWESOME heart ripping technique.  Also, I think that was an ‘I want to do you/be your bitch’ that Damon gives him at the end. Do we think Damon loves women too much to experiment?

I’m extending the love to Stefan’s martyr speech. Everyone’s been trying to tell her for weeks, but Stefan finally manages to put it into words she seems to understand, and it’s beautiful. The raw emotion and him pointing out what they ignore most of the time, that he is 162 and she’s only a teenager, she’s barely lived. “That’s not heroic –that’s tragic.”

OMG I AM ACTUALLY MELTING A LITTLE INSIDE. I love Bonnie and Jeremy. I actually had a moment there, that kiss was. Oh wow, I think I need to re-watch that.

And now I’m crying. Tyler’s speech was again, perfect. Seriously this episode took a slow build, but it’s killing me now.

Is this a slightly humbled Jules I see before me? Maybe her brush with Elijah will have done her some good. 

I get why Tyler had to go, but I hate it, and they were right, it was tragic, and I really hope that he comes back. That would be awful for us not to see him again, because I think there is so much more of his story left. But I get that he needs to go away, learn about what he’s becoming, and do some growing up. And I can’t wait to see how he turns out.