Gossip Girl Review: Empire of the Son

'Empire of the Son'

Parties, blackmails and kisses -
oh my!

Right, that was a little more like it. Gossip Girl still isn’t up to her previously high standard, but the latest episode was a hell of a lot better than any of the other offerings. I mean I was actually interested in storylines that didn’t involve Dan or Blair. I still think Ben should have worn a bag over his head for the entire episode, but we’re making progress – I didn’t throw things at the screen every time Lily came on!

"Oh, and only I get to
 joke about the hotel.
Still too soon.”

Man bangs is actually sort of in a story! Admittedly it involves him sleeping with someone, but it’s better than him just mooching around in the background of their bachelor pad muttering about how he used to bang Blair Waldorf. His storyline does involve people either talking at him whilst he blinks, or telling him he’s smarter than he looks. But I think he’s just happy to have screen time.

Talking of people happy to have screen time – Vanessa! I think Serena sums it perfectly when she looks at her disdainfully, crosses her arms like a petulant child and whines “get out.” You heard the woman V!

However, Rufus is finally crawling out of the pit of unhelpful bag carrier to Mrs Van Der Woodsen/Bass/Humphrey. He actually escorted Lily to an event, and to give a statement, and he tried his hand at that parenting thing again! And best of all, he still up to Daddy VDW. Although I’m more than a little excited about his return. 

“We’re closing the wagons.” Oooo I just got a little shiver. The whole clan is descending to protect their own. And if there’s one thing that GG does well, it’s the ranks closing to protect a loved one. Also, it means Daddy VDW and Cece are back in the picture which you just know is going to be good.

Lily surprised me today. She actually owned up to the naughty things she’s done (although the plot holes in using that damn piece of paper that proves ABSOLUTELY NOTHING make me feel slightly nauseous, it was nice to see her do the right thing.) She was more maternal with Chuck than she ever is with her biological children, and she talked about Serena being proud and SMILING at her. Wow, there’s something we haven’t seen in a while. Serena her been looking grumpy of late. Probably because she finally gave it up to Ben who then never called her back. Tsk. Men.

Ben, I really really hope you’re gone now. It was a lovely speech, really, and you did the whole teary eyed thing brilliantly. Now can you please leave? Seriously, this guy does not get better the longer he’s left in the show. He is not wine.

Although so glad Daddy Thorpe has gone. His smile scares me. And he’s a bum for ruining Chuck’s perception of Bart. But it’s mainly the smile. I’m reserving judgement on Baby Thorpe staying, I will hold fire until I see what move she makes next. The only thing that really peeved me about this storyline was how a throwaway scandal from Season 2 got brought up again randomly, in a way that didn’t make much sense, and no one has really explained what Mummy Thorpe was doing in the building anyway?! And how do you keep something like Mummy being dead secret from a child?? Urgh. Whilst I liked that he had a motivation – and the spiral this seems to be sending Chuck into – it’s frustrating that it was something so throwaway and random like that.

“Something is different –
I have a sixth sense.”
“You’re too happy – content –
I am worried you join cult!”

Chuck. Finally some remains of the old Basstard. He made a lot more sense today, which makes a refreshing change. And I loved the end with him drowning his sorrows and ranting that Blair is the only one who can help him and understand. We’ve seen a lot of Blair needing Chuck and wanting Chuck and continuing to love Chuck. But not a lot of that in return. Instead we see Chuck pretending/falling in love with another girl, chasing said girl, and using Blair to get her. Which doesn’t exactly smack of true love. But then again boys work in retarded ways. Anyway, it was nice to see a little of that back – and particularly because Blair is so beyond it right now.

“Who are you talking to?”
“No one – maybe your sixth sense
 is picking up voices from the other side.”

Before I get bogged into the Dair stuff, I want a shout out to Dorota. I’ve missed her, and she was brilliant this episode, the banter was coming thick and fast, and I want more of her!

Right, Dair or:
Blair: And not "us." Dan and Blair. Individual entities. Two nouns separated by a conjunction.
Dan: Or a comma, if mentioned in a list.
Blair: Which is rare. Since we have nothing in common and are in fact, opposites.

Lies I tell you, all lies – they have awesome chemistry in common. Fact. I love the secret meetings once everyone had gone out, I love that Dorota was onto them, I love that they stood each other up at the same time! Great minds think alike.

And I particularly love that Dan shows up at her door/elevator to sort of half way almost say he’s attracted to her.
Dan: I've been walking around the city all night with one all-consuming, paralyzing thought.
Blair: "Why am I walking around the city when I live in Brooklyn."?

One thing that peeved me about the moment? FREEZE FRAME? GOSSIP GIRL YOU’RE EVIL. I did love the awkward lead up and the sort of shoulder brush, and I love the analytical almost business like approach to it. And I even love that when it comes to it Dan just stares at her, and Blair is the one to make the first move. I mean I’m all for romantic smushy gestures, but it kind of worked that actually she grabs him.

Dan and Blair finally kiss

And the fact that Serena and Chuck are on their way over and are about to come face to face with their back up plans kissing just adds to the tension.

Typically as soon as stuff starts to get good, we’re on hiatus. I really don’t get why shows insist on doing this. If there’s a valid reason please someone enlighten me, because at the moment it just makes me grumpy that we don’t get to find out what happens next until APRIL. And with the promo for the next episode out already, everyone’s more than curious which kiss Blair is talking about having changed her life. Because there are a few contenders…

In summary: Parents bucked up their ideas, storylines got better, and the episode was actually pretty good, and may (dare we hope) lead to an awesome run of episodes to the season finale?
We can but dream…